So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
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thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
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Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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