You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I still have a little drunk in my system
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
