i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
