Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
