you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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