You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
