I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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