I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Canadian or clown?