We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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