i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
