But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I have post one night stand depression
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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