Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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