Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize