And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
