I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He did a backflip because drugs
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