Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
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nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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