i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
