sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
