Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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