Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
