WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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