Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize