It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
