I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
