Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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