No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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