My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
