the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
