I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
