Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
COCAINE IS GR8
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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