is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
