So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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