It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
