that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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