I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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