So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
