somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
