i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
