sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
