party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
