Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
