Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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