yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
