Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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