Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
