Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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