11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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