VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I need to calm my uterus...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
