all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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