Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
