She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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