One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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