i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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