Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
